“Giving Me A Bowl of Rice Would be Enough!”

My name is Xiao Yue.  My home is in Guizhou province, within a small town up in the mountains.  This town community contitutes about 40 families and everyone have the same last name. The total population is about 200. We all are from the minority group Miao. A majority of us are around the age of 30 to 50.  There is no school up on the mountain.  Most kindergarten would follow their older high school brothers and sisters to another village to attend school.  Because of poverty, most female girls would have to stop schooling at 6^th grade. I am one of those girls who had not even graduated from primary school.  However, God has chosen me as His precious jewel!

Life up in the mountains is very simple. Folks would have early breakfast (leftover rice from previous night) and then go up to the mountains to collect woods and hays.

When they returned home, their shoulders would show a red mark because of the heavy weight of carrying 70 to 80 gin of haystack home.

Houses up in the mountains are usually two story high.  The first floor is built on hollow bricks.  In order to save money, normally the second floor is built by wood. 

Every family usually eats vegetables and rice.  12 to 13 year old youngsters can eat up to 3 or 4 bowls of rice.  Here, we celebrate a festival called “Feng Jie”.  

Everything sixth day or so everyone would go to town to buy things, including oil, meat, clothes, daily necessities and matches (for lighting wood because burning coal is more expensive). Therefore, poor folks would only buy a small amount of meat during “Feng Jie” to last for only a couple meals. The richer folks may have meat for their meals up to 2 or 3 days per week.  People up in the mountains are working hard to earn a bowl of rice. 

The Miao Avoids Bad Luck and Welcome Prosperity

There are many idol worshipping activities up on the mountains.  You would see people worship trees, stones, animals and stars everywhere.  The Miao has many folk traditions.  For example, a legend said, we cannot eat “Sticky Rice Wrap” during the Dragon Boat Festival.  Otherwise, the snakes would come down from the mountain to bite people. Other than this, some families would hang the sheep head on their door entrance.  Or they would hang paper shade on the trees with red and white colors to avoid evil spirits or for granting peace.  There is another very strange tradition, whether male or female, when they drink they would use a chopstick to dip a little wine on the table.  The meaning is to let their passed away ancestors to taste the wine first.  Then people would drink the wine afterward slowly.

Every year on moon calendar of June 19, everyone would come to town, to worship in a Buddha temple.  On the way home, everyone would tie a red rag on their hand to represent everyone has already received blessing.  The Miao not only avoid bad luck and welcome prosperity; they have a special cursing activity: they would make a hay doll of their enemy, then, they would cast a curse to that person and then burn the doll.

Miao Girls’ Destiny

We have a tradition in our mountain town.  When we have a girl born, she would suffer the danger of being murdered.  Villagers can have two babies in one family and when they exceed this number they would have to pay a fine. When I was born my family was fined 500 RMB.  If they have the second baby girl they would left them in the valley to die.  I was born in 1981.  I have a sister who is 6 year older than me.  My brother is 3 year older than me.  Because of poverty, my parents decided to leave me in the mountain. If I did not die, my parents would put me up for adoption.  Eventually, I was left there for three days and three nights without food and water and nobody notice about my existence.  My only hope was crying and crying as if I was asking our Heavenly Father for mercy; asking Him to care for my suffering.  Three days later when my parents came to bury me and they discovered that I was still alive.  Later, my sister wanted to care for me and beg my parents to take me back home.  God again and again granted His grace upon me.

My Suffering Childhood

My father was a gambler.  One time my mother wanted him to sell the only leftover water rice paddy to exchange for rice.  Mother was waiting for the rice brought home by my father.  However, he went gambling and even lost the last bowl of rice.  Mother was crying and my sister and brother went to sleep without any food. Sometimes my father would steal things. Mother told me that one day she used the money he stole to buy food and clothing for us.  She also bought a fan, a closet and a bed.  Later, he was arrested because of stealing government electrical post.  He was sentenced to jail for 15 years.  I was only 3 at the moment.  From then on, our loan shark came and broke our windows and destroyed our house.  Mom took us all to run.  Our neighbors look down upon us.   Mom was working all days.  She sold vegetable for a living. My brother and sister were attending school while I was picking up bread crumbs on the street for food.  Sometimes I would pick the trash can for food.

When I was 7, my uncle was not willing to support our family financially and he forced my Mom to re-marry.  She was finally remarried and took us all the Jiangsu.  My brother was left behind to stay with my grandmother.  After her second marriage, she gave birth to another brother and sister. Since my Mom and father were not

legally separated, my step-father were afraid of my father releasing from jail and look for his wife.  He would not beat up his own children but would beat me up.  Sometimes he would use wood sticks to hit my head and my face.  He always said, “You are a bastard!  You are rubbish!  We don’t have food for you in this family!”

Every time when I asked him to pay for school fee by bartering for two bags of rice, he would beat me up.  I was always the latest person in my class to pay for school fees.  Mom did not understand me; her marriage was under tremendous pressure.  She was always mad at me.  My sister escaped the family and got marry at age 15.  

My Wandering Life

At age 14, I began my life of wandering. I escape from my family to look for job. I was thinking of looking for a job and just work for a bowl of rice to survive.  At the same time, I heard the gospel from my sister.  However, I had not decided to follow Jesus.  Money was still more attractive to me than God.  From 15 onward, I entered a lot of different industries such as factories, restaurants, wholesale liquor and tobacco.  At 17， I began to date a boyfriend and later I discovered that he has many other girlfriends. He was a gambler, also a drunkard and sometimes even beat me up.  Later I met a lot of other boyfriends and lived together with some of them.  I had several abortions.   

In 2002, I met a married man from Shanghai and come to Guangzhou.  He always cheated me that his wallet was stolen and I loaned him money.  Although all those boyfriends I lived together did not really love me, I could not live without men.  My heart was in deep pain.  Later I worked in a salon to learn how to cut hair.  My boss asked me to be his lover and I would not have to pay learning fees.  I agreed and I just want to earn a bowl of rice to survive.

Later I worked in a bar in 2002 and lived together with a divorced man.  One night a client asked me out and I became a prostitute.  I was a bar girl for 7 or 8 months and I felt some ashamed of myself.  I was always sleepless and lonely.  At the end of 2004, I attempted to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills. 

This incident did not take my life and God has rescued me.  He did not abandon me.  In Matthew 16:26, “If you gain the whole world but forfeit you own life,  what is more worthy?  What can man exchange for his own life? “God sends His only begotten son to this world and was nailed on the cross for our sins.  He gave us new life.  He loves us eternally and unconditionally.  Later I left my bar life and look for a church.  Later I read in the Bible that Jesus forgave the prostitutes and I believe that He would also forgive me.  His love on the cross is bigger than my earthly fathers.  My two earthly fathers did not love me but Jesus does.  His love causes all my attention.

Epilogue:

In 2005, Xian Yue has already left her bar life and baptized into the church.  She spent many months reading through the whole Bible.  In the summer she returned home to the mountain to share the Gospel message to his friends and relatives.  Many relatives and friends were converted. 

In 2006, she has completed the leadership and theology program in southern China.  Currently she is married to a house church pastor and has recently become a mother of a baby girl.  They are living in the northeastern part of China now.